When I get to the end of life, I want to peer up, drawing my last breath, look toward my Savior, and know I am completely wrung out for Him, for His glory. I don't want to boast of one drop of morrow left in me reserved for tomorrow or my comfort. With that, I would need more time to expend the breath He'd given me, the calls He placed on me, and my talents that He'd entrusted to me. Desiring this for life seems easier than living each day with the same yearning; so I am beginning each day with the real end in mind.
We are neck deep in our paperwork for our adoption of an older child, siblings, or special needs children. This adoption promises a new set of challenges. We anticipate more pain, more hurt, more attachment issues, more adjusting, and, hey, more children. Not a day passes I don't wonder if we are ready for this, if we are crazy, if we will find ourselves rend of all personal time and comfort we've known.
Harder yet, is hearing from others their concern without offering to act as the body of Christ is called to behave; gird up, support, pray, encourage, and bridge the gap when our strength is failing. They warn about burn out. The assure us we are chasing trends/riding a fad (if I'm not mistaken widow and orphan care was a trend Christ began in the church over 2000 years ago). They caution us we are getting in over our heads. Yes, they say, you are signing up for pain and giving up our personal happiness. Yep! We are. I know they embrace the same Word of God I read.
In the midst of doubt, I return to Phil. 3:10, which reminds me when I am sharing in the power of the resurrection, I am joining in His sufferings. The word suffering alone guarantees there a great opportunity for pain, hurt, discouragement, and, yes, even burn out. A bit masochistic, but I know Act 20:24 echos the sentiment. I'm aiming to run the race God has in front of me. For us parenting...parenting a lot of children...some who look different than me...having special needs...and not born of my womb. I anticipate weariness. Training for a race and running it is hard. Testifying of God's grace in the midst of the race is a joy, hard, but a joy. Finding myself broken, exhausted, spent, and needy allows Him a greater platform. Suddenly, my flesh fails and the Spirit steps in. I consider this the strict training and blows to my own body that goes into an eternal crown (I Cor. 9:24-27).
My friends are right. They know me. I will experience lassitude. I will regret my decisions in the middle of a hard day. I will cry. I will grieve. I will need help. THEN...Then...then, I will remember that my "light and momentary troubles are achieving for (me) an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So (I) fix my eyes...on what is eternal" (II Cor. 4:17-18). What a joy, friend, to find myself wrung out. By the moment. Daily. Weekly. For a lifetime.
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Oh Lori - we need to talk and catch up!! You are such an encouragement to me and I want to be there for you with prayers, hugs, love, physical help and so much more!! I miss you sweet friend - love and prayers to all of you.
ReplyDeleteDawn, I cannot behind o tell you how much I miss you and wish for your return. I love you, friend!
ReplyDeleteFollow Jesus and He will provide all that you need physically and mentally. No matter how absurd your path may seem to the world to Him it is planned and in this plan He will flourish. It is not going to be easy and you will fall but with a faith as strong as yours in a Heavenly Father as loving as ours you will be more than okay in your submission. Praying for you...
ReplyDeleteAs your sister in Christ, we will run this race together. When you fall, I'm there to pick you up, to carry you if need be. I'm here to encourage you, pray for you, cry with you, whatever you need...We will finish this race that has been set before us and we will Give GOD all the GLORY for it!!!! I'm here for you my friend!!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE seeing your heart! Such a precious example of God's pure love. Ummm...we also need to Skype. SOON! :)
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!!! i loved this--it so spoke to my heart.
ReplyDeleteIf you and Josh are in agreement that the Lord is calling you (and I know you are!), then onward to the PRIZE!! And these children are a prize... we all have "boxes"... you know, those walls and restraints that make us feel safe and comfy... when God begins to pull sides off the box, we (or often our friends, well-meaning as they are) begin to feel a bit uncomfortable (sometimes downright offended!). But the thing is this: outside our boxes are beauties and miracles to which we can only be witness when HE cuts windows in the box or even pulls whole sides off. With you every step of the journey; every tear, doubt, struggle and JOY!!!
ReplyDeleteI do understand the friends who have cautions; know they mean well. But God is directing your journey and who else could be such awesome parents than two young, cute, hip folks, such as you and Joshie!!! We love you!
Amen! Amen! and Amen! I hear these same things and I honestly couldn't have said it as eloquently as you did! God has called us to this task and in our case HE made it clear the road would not be easy and it would NOT be without pain! Having 5 foster children in our home in a year has been pure joy in the midst of unbelievable pain. I often think of the Parable of the Talents....is not similar. How often do we just bury things to be "on the safe side". We need to take risks for our God who whispers for so much more. Journey on dear friend and know that even though we have never met you are being prayed for by me! Your future children are being prayed for as well!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the encouragement. I also want to clarify. These situations remind me of each of our sphere of influence. We are in a position of discipleship and sharpening with fellow believers that God places in our paths. I know our words need to be measured by the Word of God...flavored with His wisdom, challenging and tough at times (these are welcome), but always offering prayer, support, and being the Aaron to our Moses. God's call differs for each of us. BUT all are called to operate as living sacrifices relinquishing our desires to His plans and desires. Never did I intend to down my friend. I believe the concern was legit, but it lacked the necessary response of the body of Christ. AND I maintain each of us need to live according to His call, lay down our own desires, and mirror the sacrifice of our savior...pouring ourselves out according to His will. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!!! my blog friends, my encouragers, my fellow adoptive parents, many of whom I've never met face to face. You are a gift from the Lord!
ReplyDeleteLori,
ReplyDeleteI didn't know y'all were in the middle of a new adoption process. How exciting! One day Larry & I will share our story with you of our (unfortunately...disrupted) adoption. Yes, it ended in a painful way but I wouldn't go back & change things. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat. Sure, life is tough when you're dealing with a lot of 'issues', but I know that we poured every ounce of Jesus into those kids and He is sovereign and will bring that back to them throughout the remainder of their life, regardless of whether or not they're under my roof.
There is beauty & amazing LIFE and STRENGTH in the community of belivers God has placed you in. So glad to be a part of your circle of friends who will gladly pray for you as you take a step into this new journey!
It's settled then. We shall be dish rags together!
ReplyDeleteas mother to this daughter, i am ever so humbled.
ReplyDeletei love you, daughter & my son.
i love your shared calling.
i love your demonstration of HIM.
He surprsies each of us - the way HE alone singles us out but never w/o His loving provisions in ALL areas. it can be said of you & Josh, "neither of you lack passion" and I say that is b/c you know your calling & you are under His annointing ~
How many times have I heard my husband say the same thing, that when the end comes He wants to have nothing left to give. What a glorious way to go home to the Father! Love hearing your heart! Praying for your family!
ReplyDeleteI get confused how christians can be so against suffering. We are seeking to be transformed more and more into the image of Christ, who although he is King of Kings, he willingly and voluntarily became the lamb. Aren't we too called to take up our cross and follow him? I struggle to see how we are to follow him with our cross and at the same time to live a life of pleasure and ease. I am behind you all the way sister!