Thursday, June 24, 2010

Debunking the Myths #1

I've heard for the last time (without responding)"I'd adopt an orphan, but..." Last week, I heard one of the more common "buts", and I finally responded. So for those of you who are reading and use this phrase, this serves as my disclaimer and warning, you just might be challenged or offended. The occurrence:

Said person, we shall call "Kelly", bumps into us in line. "Oh, what a cute child. Is he yours? I mean where did you get him?" Innocent question.  Information seeker.  Our baby does look different than us.  The question makes sense, so I assured Kelly he is my son and that I got him from the arms of a loving mother, who despite her best efforts and desire was unable to parent. "OHHHH!" She says, "I see. Was it one of those situations?"

"Don't know," I'm thinking, "I don't know what one of those situations would be." So I stand with an inquisitive look staring back at her waiting for her to elaborate.

"I mean, what's his story? Was it bad. I guess his mom and dad are dead or just didn't want him."

"Oh no, Kelly, we are his mom and dad. We do want him. In fact, we fought a 2 year, uphill battle to make our son part of our family. The woman, who happened to carry him in her womb, is alive. She was unable to parent. We don't openly share his story." I wanted to explain to her that's the equivalent of me showing your birth video on my blog...but no, that's not the sentiment I wanted to leave her.

"Well, we've always considered adoption. We would adopt, but I have a problem buying a baby. I mean how much did you spend when you got yours?"

Ever so kindly, I looked at Kelly and responded, "Interesting. I didn't realize OB/GYNS, clinics, labs, hospitals, and insurance agencies were comping the price of births. My insurance costs us $1500/month, my ultrasounds were $450 each, my birth was $8000, and my last son's NICU stay ran about $20,000. This doesn't include the price of an epidural or a cesarean if it is needed. Last time I checked, all of the women in America buy their babies in one way or another.  We chose to buy ours through the gift of adoption; you chose to buy yours through a system of medical staffing, hospitals, and insurance.  I'm sure in the end there is no difference."

Kelly moved away in line. I wasn't sad. Sorry, Kelly.  My son came to me by the same kind of love that brought your children to you. Another woman may have carried him in her womb, but he was intended for my family by an omnipotent creator before the foundations of the earth.  I believe Kelly needed a reason to take a step away from being different. She didn't want the disturbance that comes with going against the status quo. She doesn't want adoption to be a measure by which God stretches her faith. Kelly, a valid excuse would be, "I don't want another child."

If in you there is anything that desires to grow your family through adoption, don't let the cost hinder you. Email us. We will help walk you through some options and suggestions.  Who wouldn't want this to be a part of their lives:

Friday, June 18, 2010

Nine Months

Just a blip:
I remember with our first son being quite annoyed around the 6-9 month mark when he would scream each time I’d leave. Separation anxiety was better termed separation annoyance in our home. I hated the guaranteed bawling, yelping, and wailing that ensued at each departure. In fact, it curtailed much of unneeded socializing. Ahhhhh, but this side of parenting (be it maturing, fourth baby, or adoption) I relish any sign of being “Mommy”. This week, while at Kanakuk Family Kamp, we hit yet another milestone in the area of attachment and bonding. We are rejoicing that our little Meze is crying, screaming, and inconsolable when I take leave. Yes, Meze, our remembered one, we thank you for the gift of protest. So, keep it up. Shriek. Screech. Sob. We love that you ask for us with such definite fervor and desire. We love you. Happy 9 months.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

An Ethiopian Princess

In the adoption circuit, family friends are forged fast and fervidly. People, whose faces you've never seen, take up permanent residence in your heart. Our hearts are tied merely by the miracle of adoption. That miracle is connection enough. While in Ethiopia, we met a beautiful little girl, an Ethiopian princess of sorts. Maritu, as she is known in Ethiopia, boast sparkling, wide eyes and a wide smile, which never tires. Her family lives in NYC. Soon, she will be welcomed into a home with a mommy a daddy and a big sister; but before she can join the ranks, the funds to get her home must be in place. The Francis Family has worked through out their adoption to secure the funds for this expensive process. They are not too far off of their goal. Today, I'm advocating for them, in part, for Maritu, my favorite Ethiopian princess, to be able to come together as a forever family. You can log onto this site:

to donate to the Francis Family. Enjoy the beauty of this little one; she is a doll. Maritu, we are waiting to hear you are in the arms of your family, forever to belong.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Adoption Ornament

Check out this exciting new Gladney Family Association fundraising project. The GFAs, who work to promote adoption and offer support to adoptive families, have partnered with Christopher Radko to produce the first-ever Radko holiday ornament with the
Gladney/Adoption logo. I am pleased to report that the East Texas Gladney Family Association is offering this beautiful Radko ornament to you and yours for $60. The Cozy Cottage will showcase the logo on the chimney. What a perfect gift for a family, who knows the beauty of adoption first hand...whether they adopted through Gladney or another organization. Orders will arrive at the end of September or beginning of October. Please, email me privately at for inquiries or orders. Check out the mock up of "The Cozy Cottage" below.