Rule 1 in blogging: Don’t blog about blogging or write like you have an audience. Well, I’m breaking the rules as usual mostly because I’ve gone MIA in blog world for more than just the normal sabbatical. Excuses are endless, and the truth be told, I have A LOT of them for not blogging. I didn’t blog during our last tip to Ethiopia because the Internet was down at the guesthouse most of the time. I didn’t blog when we returned because I was on re-entry overload. After re-acclimating, I didn’t blog because I was processing emotions and information. Processing complete, I found myself n the midst of a new and unintended path. I didn’t post about this new path because, frankly, I just didn’t know how to discuss where HE was leading this family.
Months ago, we announced we rejoined the ranks of families adopting from Ethiopia. We officially sent over our dossier and completed EVERY piece of paperwork that our agency needs. Yes, the program has changed. Yes, there seem to be more hurdles to clear this round, but we are in!
Until our last trip to Ethiopia, we didn’t realize the direction our next adoption would take. On paper, we’d prepared ourselves for a child with special needs like HIV, Hepatitis, and clubfoot or cleft lip. We’d committed to a child between the ages of 2 and 8 years old. Surely, God would fit that child into our home. Truth is, we are compelled to loving the least of these in the world’s eyes. Being committed to this seemed to blind us from where He wanted to take us.
God changed the path the last Saturday we spent in Ethiopia. (This tends to be His way in our lives.) I’m not sure why I continue to be amazed by this; but I am. In a miraculous, God-scripted-manner, God set our path toward the adoption of 3 (yes I said 3) siblings. (Pause. Breathe in. Exhale. Repeat.) Putting this in print terrifies me to the core. No HIV. No Hep. No medical needs…just lots of children. For those of you mathematicians, yes, that does make the kid count in our home at an all time high of 7. Whew…said it. Way in if you’d like; but be gentle, please.
Our family prays ceaselessly for God to script this road for His glory alone. Each of us is scared yet sure. The moment the Spirit makes a depository of peace into our hearts, the words “college funds”, “weird”, “mega family”, and “passenger van” pop up and slay the faith we have in his plan. I feel like I teeter-totter back and forth from faith to fear and back again. I can only see God responding to me as I do with my sweet daughter when she grieves the “weird” of our lives. “Weird” by the world’s standard, is what I am called to. Not conformity. Not ease. Nor normalcy. I remind her Jesus was in every way “weird”. Paul- weird. Noah- weird. Abraham- weird. Purity, eternal mindset, righteousness with out judgment, and sacrifice are peculiar by the world’s definition. It’s just making peace with the fear of judgment by the world and accepting the isolation that comes from our differences. If I can tell her, why can’t I take it in? In the end, I resolve. I am far more fearful of disobedience than “weird”.
When we adopted Mez, we found ourselves catching our breath at each turn if anxiety, in desperation, fully consumed. This time around, we can best describe the journey like the lazy river… We have settled in and feel like God is moving us around each bend. At certain bends the aversion to the road less taken forebodes; but it’s different. We don’t have a lot of control, but it feels good.
Join us in praying for God’s will for our family and for the terrific trio that is still in Ethiopia. Pray that he will open and close the appropriate doors. Pray for us to abide in whatever “Weird” He calls us to live. We are praying for your weird and willingness to walk there, too.