In modern, middle-class (or upper-class) America, is it possible to feel destitute? Can we really find a place of dependency? I've been throwing around this idea. See, it seems the ease of life and the availability of resources keeps us from knowing the desperation of dependency on anyone other than ourselves to meet our needs. Truth is, most of us can't identify ourselves with the "least of these" to whom we reach out and serve altruistically. If the destitute nature of our existence is something we can't grasp, then how do we testify to our wretched spiritual status? Yet I still rush to served the needy...so why?
Tom Davis, in Fields of the Fatherless, speaks to the calling on our lives to pour out our love and care for other just as Christ poured Himself out for us. I don't think many of my friends would disagree with this premise. Davis stipulates, "(we are) reaching out to the needy because... we see we can make a difference with the needy...(but also because) we're searching. We're looking for something that's missing. We are looking for what makes us whole." I know meeting the needs of others allows me to explain who I am, where I've come from, or where where I'm heading spiritually. It's like I find a place where I can identify myself with The One with whom I so desire to be identified with.
The journey of adoption has morphed my purpose for reaching out to the needy. Yes, I still like to feel purposeful. And yes, there are still moments I'm searching. But, through our new son, God continues to illuminate my neediness. As I see our son's need for a father, for a redemptive hope for a future away from the life he knows now, and his 'lack of identity' with out a father's last name, I see my own need for Jesus. I see in him, this little boy, who I am without the redemption of my father and savior, Jesus. Now, my compassion is rooted in the picture I have of myself, my need for a compassionate savior as He leads me to the foot of the cross. From the cross, I'm filled with a desire to be a physical picture of what Christ is for me.
Seeing need allows me to see my need. My need for redemption fulfilled allows me to know my Father. Knowing my Father brings definition, fulfillment, and completion to my life. I'm so grateful God has used our son to give clearer focus on my true need and desperation to remain at the foot of the cross...another joy of waiting for Him (and waiting for our little him.)