Ann and I have been keeping a journal during our adoption and placement of our trio. We scribble our thoughts and exchange prayers via papers. Sometimes that feels much safer. I’m giving you a peek into some of the most private parts of our relationship only to share a glimpse of God’s work in a variety of areas of our life during the adoption process. The following is a continual exchange between mother and daughter:
Thank you for your love and support. I’m very confused right now. I love my sister. I also feel frustrated that I’ve lost my place as your “little mommy.” Please, tell me when times are hard, how do I find joy in the little things? How do I love being a sister when it’s hard? I know that’s God’s desire.
You are and always will be my “little mommy” no matter how many children God places in our heart and home; you have your very own spot. But to your question, I need to share with you some truths you will discover on your own as you grow.
All of life is hard. It is not easy. But hard does not imply misery. The trick is finding joy in the hard. You asked how. Well, I look for the smallest of joy despite the trial: a smile and hug after we disagree, comfort from you when I’m sad, small words you whisper or write that touch my heart when I’m down, small dirty hands on my face, riots of laughter when we should be sleeping, and spontaneous affection…
You see, it is very easy to find happiness in a gift or wealth or ease, but those are only temporal, not joy. Being a sister is similar. It’s not easy. It’s beautiful (ask my sisters). It’s rewarding. In the moments of frustrations we rejoice for the gift of companionship. In the moments of overbearing personality, we hold tight to the laughter that same personality brings. In hurt, you remember what has come before and what is to follow. In everything, we have the great privilege of perspective. In the hard, we have the promise of hope. In trials, we have the proof of redemption, salvation, and His faithfulness from our past.
I think, today, you can count the great joy of knowing Christ centered love and perseverance in the hard of life. Yesterday, you knew the thrill of something new. Persevere, little mommy, seek truth and embrace each step of refining, as though is it a badge of love.
You are right. I’ve found so much joy in these moments as a sister. It is not easy, but I do love it. Sometimes at night I think about all God has done for me. I will keep loving all the parts of sisterhood. The good and the hard.
Friends, not everyday has been easy, but each day has been blessed with joy and hope and truth and redemption. I could not imagine missing out on this journey. What a joy it is!